My Perfect Death

I don't know anymore
I don't say things right
I don't do what I should
I don't live my life but kill it

I should have learned
That happiness isn't in
A razor blade or a bottle
But in the people in my life

I wish I knew that before
Before I killed my life
Or at least my life line
And stay suffering slowly

First step was my friends
I couldn't have any
I cut them off from me
So I couldn't hurt them

Next were my parents
I stopped telling them
Telling them of the pain
So I faked my happiness

Then I started the pills
Took one or two before
Before hurting myself
So I wouldn't feel it until later

Then I finally decided it
My perfect death
It would be an easy death
Perfect for my standards

So that's when I did it
I took my love and kissed them
Then let their lover hurt me
And kill my heart slowly

And then I slowly died
Not of the pain or cuts
Not of the bruising
But of a broken heart